"I need some time alone with my own thoughts. Got treasures in my mind but I can't open up my own vault..."

Today is another one of those days.

Inside my head:

Food doesn't taste good.
Music doesn't sound good.
Nothing is fun, funny, or entertaining.
Everything fucking sucks.

I have no idea how to get out of this funk either.


And there's this immense anxiety about drawing. I can't explain it well, but it's that I keep thinking about drawing...and won't. Or can't. I'm not sure which it is.

I shed tears, have a headache, and hate everything today? Fair enough. Except I already know that if I do what I feel like doing [sleeping], that I'll wake up and maybe feel better. The problem is that I'm quite apt to fall into the same spot again after waking up. But what if I do what I don't feel like doing [drawing]? I don't believe I've ever gone against the grain in a foul mood. I usually just cave in to whatever curl-up-into-a-ball-and-cry gesture that Resistance feeds me.

So...after this post is published, I'm going to put on Big Bang Theory and draw something. Anything. I don't care if it ends up just being a circle. The only thing I know is that it's time for some fucking experimentation.


ugh...this day needs to be over and that appointment needs to get here sooner.

 


"I don't love you...I always will...oh, I don't love you...I always will..."
--The Civil Wars; Poison & Wine

This song describes exactly how I feel.